Sunday, April 6, 2014
Perspective
Sometimes just when you think you really understand something, something happens to make you realize you don’t understand it at all. One moment things are fantastic, and then the next suddenly everything falls apart. You were elated and joyful and now you are anxious and fearful. .
What do you do when that happens? It’s perfectly normal to have a strong negative response when you’re faced with a challenging situation. It’s not your initial response that sets the tone; it’s what you do with it later that has a lasting effect. .
Once the initial surprise is over are you talking on and on about all of the bad things that might happen? Are those words making you feel better or worse? If you continue to focus on the negative you cannot move into the resolution and feel better. Remember it is always your goal to find a better feeling place. Your only objective is to try to approach the situation in a way that makes you feel better than you felt when you were in the midst of the negative situation. .
Example:.
• Option 1:
* You’re feeling particularly proud of the dinner you prepared for your family. Your daughter refuses to eat the dinner you worked so hard to prepare. You could respond by being angry and hurt. You might start thinking about all of the things you don’t like about her or her behavior. Then later escalate to, I’m never making her dinner again. When you take this route doesn’t it make you feel even worse?.
• Option 2:
*You’re feeling particularly proud of the dinner you prepared for your family. Your daughter refuses to eat the dinner you worked so hard to prepare. You could choose to respond another way. Such as “Wow, this is unusual. She seems like she may have had a rough day. She’s usually so thoughtful and notices the effort I put into doing nice things for her. I really like that she typically has a bright sunny out look on life. I like the way she is thoughtful and kind. I like that even though she didn't enjoy the dinner I created, she made sure not to say bad things about it. I’m sure she will feel better in the morning.” When you take this route doesn’t it make you feel better than option 1?.
We cannot control conditions but we can control the way we feel and what we choose to give our attention to.
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